2.4

After reading both the Pryor reading and both Kohn readings, I was struck by how pervasive the argument about behaviorism has become in my life now that I have a child.  I see posts and articles similar to the articles by Kohn circulating around social media weekly.  There seems to always be someone who knows how we are all ruining our kids forever.  That being said, I am going to attempt to put my own cynicism aside to look at these readings in an objective and scholarly way.

Pryor tends to equate training humans with training animals in much of his book.  This idea carries with it a significant amount of controversy because we as humans like to believe that we are above animals.  Therefore, simple behavior modifications should not work on us superior beings because we are simply too complex.  In the opening line of the forward, Pryor (2002) says, "This book is about how to train anyone - human or animal, young or old, oneself or others - to do anything that can and should be done" (p. ix).  This statement raises the question, can humans be trained the same way as animals?  Is housebreaking your dog the same as potty training your toddler?  Should we account for differing levels of cognitive superiority?  I can assure you that sometimes teaching my toddler feels very similar to training an animal, but sometimes I seem to be fighting against his own internal needs for independence, self-direction, or flat our stubbornness.  For example, we taught our toddler to clean up his toys at night using what a behaviorist would call shaping.  First, we praised him for putting a toy we handed him the the toy box.  Then, we started only praising him when he picked up a toy and put it in the toy box.  As he got better at it, we lengthened the schedule to where he was only praised if he put several toys away or all the toys away.  His cleaning up behavior improved and he is still pretty good at it many months later.  However, sometimes he does not want to clean up his toys and we have to use other methods, which lately have included taking toys away when he refuses to clean up.  He then can get that toy back after a variable amount of good cleaning up behaviors.  But, if my toddler can learn using only positive reinforcement, why are there still nights that he does not want to clean up his toys?  What inside of him changes?

Kohn honestly elicited some eye rolling as I read his articles.  As I said in the beginning of this post, I tend to get fairly cynical about articles telling me about how I am damaging my child in some way by doing "normal parent things."  By normal parent things, I mean the things that you do as a parent whether you planned on doing them before having children or not.  I feel that a "good job" every now and then is just going to come out as a normal response to children doing something that you appreciated.  My overarching question to Kohn's writings is this: Is it unreasonable to expect children to behave in a particular way?  Also, how reasonable are toddlers anyway?  Kohn (2001) said, "We also need to bring kids in on the process of making decisions. If a child is doing something that disturbs others, then sitting down with her later and asking, 'What do you think we can do to solve this problem?' will likely be more effective than bribes or threats."  I think that this might be reasonable for some children in some situations, but it is not globally applicable.  For example, my toddler is not yet capable of having a rational conversation about why it would be better for him to use the potty than to go in his diaper.  However, he really loves Sesame Street stickers, so knowing he gets a sticker for going on the potty is enough to motivate him.  I also tend to disagree with Kohn on the idea that specific praise is not any better than general praise.  There is plenty of literature to support specific praise.  I will cite a couple articles at the end of this post.

Overall, I tend to be more agreeable toward Pryor; however, some of that may have to do with my phase of life.  There is a call for balance.  Moreover, relationship, respect, authority, shaping, and rationalism all can play a role into helping young people grow into healthy and productive adults.  I am not sure that we can discount the importance of either.  Praise can make you feel good and I believe that is okay.

Literature Supports for Praise:

Fullerton, E., Conroy, M., & Correa, V. (2009). Early childhood teachers' use of specific praise with young children at risk for behavioral disorders. Behavioral Disorders, 24(3), 118-135. Retrieved September 6, 2014, from http://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ864450

Reinke, W., Lewis-Palmer, T., & Merrell, K. (2008). The classroom check-up: A classwide teacher consultation model for increasing praise and decreasing disruptive behavior. School Psychology Review, 27(3), 315-332.